Off-Topic Friday: Survival Of The Fittest M&Ms

September 7, 2007

I’m a huge fan of the candy M&Ms…Mmmmmmm…*Drool*….The sweet sweet M&Ms, the ones with peanuts are my favourites. If the ones with almonds existed in Denmark I would rank them second. The Malteser-version isn’t really me, they are too sweet.

My love for M&Ms isn’t what today’s post is about. No I “accidently” stumbled upon this great M&Ms related story.

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one
immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
“grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand
tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
True Champion.

There can be only one.

Source: Netjeff

What a great way to start the weekend. If it wasn’t because I had to referee two soccer matches and watch the VERY important Sweden vs. Denmark Euro Qualifying soccer match this Saturday, I would definitely find the most powerful M&M.

A great weekend.

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