Report: Meat Now America’s No. 2 Condiment

Now this is getting scary:

"CHICAGO—Though once defined as just a  stand-alone meal, meat has
risen quickly up the ranks to become the nation's second most popular
condiment, according to a study released by the U.S. Department of
Agriculture.

A pork chop tops a cheeseburger.

"In the past several years, meat's use as a way to enhance the
flavor of foods has increased exponentially," said Agriculture
Secretary Mike Johanns. "Ketchup is still number one, but at the rate
people are putting meat on top of other meats and foods, it may very
well surpass it by 2010."

"American consumption habits have made meat a necessity just so people can notice that they're eating something," Johanns added.

Johanns cited the rise of bacon as a condiment as the most universal
example of this trend. "By 2015, our researchers predict bacon alone
will supplant condiments as diverse as mustard and Worcestershire
sauce," Johanns said. "Crumbled 'bacon bits' are a classic addition to
salads, and in recent years, slabs of bacon are increasingly used to
wrap vegetables, fruits, and seafood. Adding bacon as a topping to
cheeseburgers is old news, but now we are seeing bacon-topped meatloaf,
bacon-covered chicken wings, and deep-fried, bacon-wrapped bacon
sprinkled on pork chops."

Fast-food restaurants have led the charge in pioneering the new
trend, Agriculture Department food chemist and study co-author Lynn
Starck said. "McDonald's discovered years ago that people aren't really
looking for some kind of spicy sauce to top their sandwiches," Starck
said. "Quite frankly, what they really want to pile on their hamburger
patty is another hamburger patty."

Mayonnaise—a mixture of egg and oil—was one of the original
condiments, premiering in the 18th century and growing in popularity as
diners sought toppings with flavors nearly as powerful as the food
beneath them. According to the report, this growth will continue into
the next century, with such new innovations as smearable beef packets,
kielbasa chutney, and squeeze-bottled chicken.

Pureéd-steak pump-action dispensers are already a staple at
condiment stations across the country, as an estimated 79 percent of
fast-food patrons now dip their fries not just into ketchup, but into
meat in one of its liquid forms.

High-end restaurants are also getting in on the act, with tuxedoed
waiters now offering freshly ground steak tartare and a lightly
seasoned pork mixture along with the more traditional black pepper at
every table.

"In many restaurants, they'll 'meat up' almost any plate on the
menu, even vegetarian ones, with an entire steak drooping over the top,
at the customer's request," Starck said. "Bologna sherbet and ham
brulée are also just two of the hot new condiment-based desserts we're
seeing more and more of."

Kraft Foods, makers of Jell-O, are expected to release their highly
anticipated pudding cups with dried veal sprinkles in November, and
Baskin-Robbins is experimenting with diced frozen frankfurters and
gelatinous pork orbs as toppings for their many flavors of ice cream.

Celebrity chefs such as Bobby Flay have enthusiastically embraced
the meat-condiment craze. "I've been dipping my onion rings in a
mixture of stone-ground white cornmeal, fresh thyme, and lightly
whipped bison meat for years now," Flay said. "A couple of years ago
doing something like that would have gotten me kicked off my five TV
shows. Now everybody's asking for the recipe.""

News Source: The Onion