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I wonder how much it would cost to have
my own army composed of third world mercenaries. I’d want them as more
of a status symbol than a fighting force. Obviously I’d have to hire my
soldiers from a country where the annual wage is 7 kr. ($1.25), otherwise it
gets expensive. And they’d have to stay in that country. I’d outsource
the whole project.
My army’s only duty would be to march in formation several times a
day and shout songs about my glory. The whole thing would probably cost
me less than a few thousand per year. And for that modest sum, I’d have
a cool answer every time someone said to me “You and whose army?” I’d
have pictures of my army in my wallet and just whip them out. Then I’d
say something like “Here’s the 101 Infantry Division. This fellow on
the end, Gbernak, he can swim. He’s my amphibious landing force.”
I would lend my army to multinational peacekeeping forces whenever
it was hard to get a coalition. It would be funny to watch President
Bush explain who was joining the next coalition. “Well, our coalition
is growing. So far we have the United States… and Puerto Rico… I think
Hawaii is on board. Japan is sending some bandages. And of course we
have the Army of Dennis B. Petersen. They spend most of the day hiding, but
we’re sure they’re with us.”
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The new Spiderman 3 teaser trailer is here.
Looks like he has to fight Spawn this time
Click on the poster to see the trailer.
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A British company is developing computer chips which store music in women´s
breasts.
This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men
staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
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One of the best gifts I’ve ever given was a losing lottery ticket. I bought it for my sister. I realize that doesn’t sound like a great
gift, since it only cost 6$ (30 kr.), and it lost. But the way I did it
was pure evil genius. No one wants to buy a winning lottery
ticket for someone else. You’d bang your head on the wall for the rest
of your life, yelling “WHY OH WHY DIDN’T I KEEP THAT ONE???
WHAAAWHAAAAWHAAAA!!!” That’s bad for the wall. I
solved that problem by buying for myself two additional lottery
tickets with the same numbers as the one I got for her. I explained
that in case her ticket won, I wanted to be twice as rich. It’s the
thought that counts.
What’s the best gift you ever got or gave? Bonus points if it makes me cry.
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One of
the perks of being a big-time ehmmm… (I would say celebrity nut I'm not) involves using a vacuum cleaner to get rid of ants in the kitchen. Before I I got got a vacuum cleaner I had to shout at the ants to scare them away. In retrospect, I don’t think ants have ears, because yelling never worked. Sometimes I had to keep my snacks in a wooden bowl floating in the bathtub. Eventually, when the ant army built up to the point where they could lift me in my sleep – but before they could get
me down the ant hole – I would give notice on my apartment and find
another.
Now I can afford high tech vacuum weaponry. It’s sweet. I’m not
allowed to use the “good” vacuum cleaner obviously. That one is only
for the carpet. I use the one that no longer stays locked in the
upright position. So I suck up a few ants, then the vacuum cleaner
falls over and impales my thigh. I curse, return the vacuum to its
unlocked upright position and repeat. Suck-ow-%$&*#.
Suck-ow-%$&*#. Suck-ow-%$&*#. Someday I hope to buy a new
vacuum cleaner exclusively for ants.
Eradicating ants in the utility room is exactly like being attacked by
zombies, except the zombies are very small, and the worst thing they
can do is walk on your crackers. As you know, when zombies attack, you
can kill several hundred of them with your automatic weapons and flame
throwers and stabby things, but additional zombies keep on coming as if
they hadn’t noticed. Ants are just like that. They really aren’t good
at pattern recognition. You can vacuum six hundred ants in a straight
line and yet ant 601 won’t see it coming. He’ll be all “Hey, why am I
suddenly in this bag full of dust? Carl, is that you?”
I get a perverse pleasure out of every ant that goes down the hose.
It would bother me if they screamed in pain or begged for their lives,
but they don’t, so it’s all good. Every time a new ant appears on the
cabinet door, I delight in sending him to dustbag heaven. Ahhh, good
times.
The only other household chore I enjoy as much as ant eradication is
cleaning the cat box. It’s like panning for gold, except the gold is
cat poop. That inconvenient fact doesn’t detract from the thrill of the
find as much as you’d think. There’s something in our basic DNA that
likes to find free stuff, even if the stuff is turds. Arguably, I paid
for the cat food, so the nuggets aren’t really free. But as long as
there’s some time lag between the paying and the prospecting, it’s
still a low grade thrill. (Its not entirely true actually - We have a rather clever litter box that you just have to turn around and then its clean, but we USED to have the old model)
What’s your favorite chore that shouldn’t be fun but is?
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Microsoft Corp. developing software for … robots?
Yes, it's true. And no, despite the timing, it's not a case of the company's
engineers taking Microsoft on a crazy tangent now that Bill Gates is shifting
away from his day-to-day oversight.
Gates, in fact, helped instigate the new Microsoft Robotics Group, which will
announce its first product today — a software system that robotics developers
can use to create the programs that make robots work.
Dubbed the Microsoft Robotics Studio, the system aims to create common
technological underpinnings for what is now a relatively fragmented industry.
The company says it's intended for use with a wide range of robots, from those
in factories to the growing number of robots available to consumers.
It might take many years, but Microsoft believes robotics could present a big
opportunity as the market grows, said Tandy Trower, general manager of the
Microsoft Robotics Group. He cited estimates predicting that consumer robotics
alone will grow into a multibillion-dollar industry in five to 10 years.
Continue At Source
Source: Microsoft Robotics
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I wish to thank the Calfornia Avocado Commision for the very nice page with some good recipes for avocados.
Yes, I have a small thing for avocados…the stone in the middle makes my own "stones" hurt everytime I see them 
Find recipes here
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The official site isn't up yet, but you can still download it from Microsoft.
Follow this link
and I'll just type it here so you can see it yourself http://download.microsoft.com/download/3/e/0/3e0467fc-a26f-4001-
b352-cd1a274f957b/EN/Install_Messenger.exe
Source: bink.nu
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Yeah it would be nice with some comments
Click on it to see it in a bigger version.
Source: Comics.com and the brilliant Stephan Pastis
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